Lady Bathory Mistress of Doom

Porn star Capri Anderson is about to speak out for the first time since her run-in with an enraged, drunken Charlie Sheen in a New York City hotel room last month. Speaking Monday night on ABC's Nightline, Anderson says Sheen went into a violent rage and threatened to kill her. She knew she was in trouble when "he put his hands around my neck that I really thought to myself, you have gotten yourself in a bad, bad situation."

Anderson goes on to say, "And once the lamp flew, it was like there was just stuff coming from every angle. He was just -- anything he could pick up, he was trashing the place ... He was calling me a whore a lot. And he was yelling things like, you F-ing bitch. If you don't come out here, I'm going to kill you. If I get in there, you're going to be sorry. If I get in there, you ... whore, you whore, whore. Like he just keep screaming and slamming on the door."

I'd like to say I'm shocked by the details, but sadly it seems par for the course for Sheen. The dude's crazy and what's even worse is people practically applaud him for his antics.

Anderson also claims Sheen texted her after the incident, offering $20,000 in hush money. Looks like ABC offered a little more!

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Oh, how the plot thickens! British tabloid newspaper The Sun reported Monday that NBA bad boy Tony Parker not only cheated on Eva Longoria with his former teammate's wife but also sent half-naked pictures to 19-year-old British model Sophia Egeler! How come I have a feeling more women are going to come out of the woodwork, replicating the infamous Tiger Woods situation? Eerily enough, it's been about one year since that all went down.

Egeler tells The Sun that she met Parker at an Ultimate Fighting match at London's O2 Arena and said, "From the minute he met me he was trying it on. I had no idea he was Eva Longoria's husband. He would not take no for an answer and was telling me how much he liked me."

Family Portrait

Russell Brand and Katy Perry may have just tied the knot but they're already adding to their family. The newly minted couple adopted teen heart throb, Justin Bieber at the American Music Awards Sunday night.

Here's what the mop haired pop singer had to say about his new family, "I'm really looking forward to having Mr. and Mrs. Brand take care of me," said Bieber. "Mrs. Brand's a total upgrade from my mom and Mr. Brand and I can talk dick and p***y jokes all day. Not only that, but they'll let my bff Usher come over to play video games whenever I want."

Bieber went on to say, "Now that I'm the biggest star in music I felt like I needed a family upgrade."

What a little asshole!

Tiny Print: This Story Most Likely Isn't True, Believe It At Your Own Risk.